i'm all or nothing
I've decided to start writing again,
despite my worries that i'll obsess and overanalyze every aspect of my life and personality, and obsess over trivial apsects of my day, feeling the need to document everything i ate and every fluctuation of my weight.
Oh well, everyone else is doing it (writing).
I'm gonna keep this entry short, bc i have lots to do right now.
i moved on the 20th (and it took over a week to fully move) into Merion...merion 3rd to be specific (representttttt)
The people here are really cool and nice,
although i wish i'd known them for longer..
its always hard being the newcomer, esp when theres a quad next door (who are all really sweet).
but people tend to talk of the past, of which i know nothing,
so its hard to kind of mesh with others when you're kinda on the boundary of things.
but i hope to get to know lotsa people in this dorm better.
and not in this dorm, too.
Last weekend did no work.
friday night was a tea thing, watched some of a movie then to sara's room, saw my first gay blind date.
saturday went to ikea, bought another rug, some chair cushion thingy, some fabric for the glass above the door, hangers and some other stuff.
saturday night went to 2 parties at swat with elizabeth, and the drinks were really yummy. Met 2 boys who were 4 and 5 yrs older.
sunday went shopping, got jeans and other stuff. dyed hair again.
Thats about it. I want to see Sara C. at dinner one day. i want to go (intentionally, not just run into) dinner with people from this dorm. I want to get a tiny tiny nose ring (lil diamond stud). I want to eat indian food at cafe spice in philly. i want to like philly, and actually go there, bc thats one reason i went here.
i need to print out my schedule and give it to my dean, once i get my password sent to me (where the fuck is it?)
need to read hobbes leviathan, write philosophy paper, and do history reading (almost done)...skipping lunch today bc too lazy to walk there.
ate breakfast 2 hrs ago and am not hungry. need to get jeans hemmed. no one cares to read this, and i wont care in the future, so why do i even write this? im always walking alone. and im not a loner or independent. i want to be around other people, the way i was in high school. i dont want fake polite how was ur day conversation. i want depth. i want honesty and bluntness.
i feel like people here really wouldnt notice if i left.
whatever. Current Mood: optimistic